Now that we've had the 74th shooting at a school since Newtown (an admittedly esoteric stat that can get filed under WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?), the staff here thinks you need a quick update on the Amendment that might be second but is TRYING SO HARD you guys. It's also the one that every guy in a sleeveless Tapout tee claims to know like he's a hillbilly Posner. Sometimes you meet these guys at a cocktail party/lynching and really want to chat them up. Here are some tips.
- The Text (for when you're looking for something to compliment that Gadsden Flag that's covering up the swastika tat you gave yourself in juvi):
- A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
- NOTE: Nobody cares
- Some Law:
- US v. Miller - Guns for all!
- DC v. Heller - All for guns!
- McDonald v. Chicago - Guns, guns, guns!
- Smart People Doing Smart Things With All of This:
- Texas Open Carry : A fun group to join if your expression of personal freedom falls on the harassment side of things.
- Sovereign citizens: The intellectual equivalent of a junior high Student Council if the nerds and overachievers were ousted by the guys who hung out in the autobody shop to be closer to auto-grade nitrous.
- The Bundy Ranch: In case you were wondering, this is where "Liberty lives." And she's not getting away. Ever.
- What Some Crotchety Old Men Think:
- Antonin Scalia: The Framers wanted you to use guns to un-do all the stuff they did.
- John Paul Stephens: STFU, Tony.
Now you're a gun expert! Use this knowledge to spread reason wherever you go. Or to scare liberals.
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