There are few things practicing attorneys enjoy doing more than recounting how horrific and grueling their preparation for the Bar exam(s) was. They will tell stories of 10 hour sessions and long, sleepless nights filled with the mysteries of Antitrust. They tell these stories with a kind of world-weariness that you'd expect from someone that had been in Iraq for many tours, rather than in a library or class room for 10 weeks. If you know a lawyer (or, God forbid are one) who claims that the bar was hard, give them a good scoffing. Roll your eyes and bloke smoke from your cigarillo into their face. Because friends, it used to be worse.
When Professor Hollyfeld took the bar, it was a much different beast than the one today's gormless youth is asked to complete. Back then, "multiple choice" meant picking a series of doors, behind which a test taker (Testakor) would encounter four strong men, one of whom he would then have to fight. The term "Bar" came from the long iron cudgel that each Testakor was given in order to dispatch foes. Later, after hungry dogs and feral cats were added, small darts were given. These spikes were about 6 inches long and could be used with deadly result when thrown at an opponent or just held in wildly flailing fists. Times have changed, but tradition preserved the tools of combat in the name "Bar" and the reliance on number 2 pencils.
So, when you're feeling overwhelmed or isolated or afraid of what the Bar has in store for you, relax and try to appreciate the fact that you will not have to fight the strange, strong smelling immigrants that were hired for the "multiples". You will also not have to survive snake bites (oh, the essay portion was also plety unpleasant).
PROFESSOR HOLLYFELD MAKES THIS OATH:
- If you read this garbage, he will will keep writing it, because he knows that it's nice to feel like a fellow traveler shares your burden.
- You are not alone, Chum. Given the population density, this is basic math.
- Even if you fail the Bar, you are not going to be beaten so badly that all you remember is the glint of an opponents cudgel and the strong smell of garlic.
- We'll pop corks on the 26th.
