Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Ineluctable Irrationality of the Imbecile

"Oh man, I rode that goddamn horse for this?"

So, as many of you may know, I am not having the best of times with the admins at 'ol Suffolk.  Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the thing that's so chapped their asses:

This stamp, long kept secret and under lock and key, is for the first time anywhere being revealed... NOW, on Legal Diversions!  Okay, so maybe Arial 12 Font isn't much of a distinctive "stamp", but this thing carries a lot of weight.  And faking it?  Just like forging the President's signature on an order to start murdering children.  People will believe it and GO NUTS.  Students won't know what to do!!!  They'll believe that the text that accompanies the stamp is the law of the land and bedlam will ensue.  And what exactly was this evil, dangerous sign compelling innocent students to do?  Meth?  Sexing?  Methsexing?  Let's take a look (after a leap!)

It's a sign.  Directing people to look at a plaque.  Mounted in a men's room stall.  Honoring an alumni who just got tossed n the clink for ethics violations. (below!).

This is the plaque that students were directed to contemplate.  Sorry for the blurriness.  It reads (more or less):  

Salvatore F DiMasi JD ('71)
Commemorative Commode

Placed here in recognition of
all he has done for the University and the Commonwealth.

May students be reminded of his career
with every flush

Proudly presented by the
Massachusetts Office of Trustees

Oddly enough, the stamp was the the thing they were most concerned with.  Well, that and the anti-theft alarm I attached to it so people would notice the sign getting pulled down.

So....blahblahblah... This is the issue that will be memorialized in an official complaint (mailed to me, suitable for framing).  In a month a bunch of faculty members I probably don't know will listen to information provided by witnesses I will not be able to question or even hear without aid of counsel (at least not .  You know, just like how a real court operates.  Right?  Oh, wait... shit.  And at the end of the day, what they will hear will likely be about a stamp, and not an parodic element of a funny poster that was made FOR A CLASS.  

Your tuition dollars at work, folks.  PS - I still have no idea how they compile post grad employment statistics, the salaries of the deans, and where and how money is spent (hint: awesome art).  

ANNNNYYYwwwwaaayyyy.... hope your semester is going well.  You guys?  You're my guys.

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