Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wrath of the Deans II: No Laughing Matter

Ahhh, a brand new semester!  There's nothing like challenging new ideas, rigorous study, and a mandatory ID check at the front door of the school to inspire young minds to shoot for the stars.  Stars like Prima Centauri, not Delta Pavonis, because we can't forget about the dummies.  Don't reach too far, dummies!  Your crushing loan debt is as valuable as anyone else's crushing loan debt.

So, as some may know, I am in the process of being disciplined for criticizing the law school's post-grad employment reporting errrr, wait, questioning the disparity between the money the faculty makes (not much) versus what the administrators make (much more than not much) wait, oh shit... suggesting that the law school wants students to ignore important issues related to their professional lives in favor of a degree that makes hiring partners in Big Law chuckle, then sigh, then move on to the next resume ... oh I remember... I'm facing a disciplinary panel and potential expulsion for FAKING A STAMP.  You know, one of the top secret sigil stamps that the Dean of Students keeps secreted in a special vault in the esoteric magicks archive of the library.  It's use bestows a rare and unbreakable enchantment on what would otherwise be innocuous an pieces of paper - it allows them to hang on bulletin boards and to be displayed in the halls for a certain period of time!!!! Are you getting chills, the kind that make you want to flail a fragrant rule-breaker?  How about if I tell you it was done in conjunction with a class project (see video below) for comic effect?  Do you hear the thunder crashing all around you, drowning out what you just heard???  Of course not, because you're not an idiot.  If you're into behavior that smacks of idiocy (and not just my own), read on...

Yes friends, rather than attempt to discipline me over what would likely devolve into a sloppy fight over academic expression, the administration is going after to me for reproducing a stamp.  Why did I make the stamp?  Because I thought it would be funny if it looked like the Dean of Student's office endorsed an ostrich with it's head in the sand as a new mascot.  Get it?  This kind of behavior is just like the sort of violations attorneys are hauled up in front of the BBO for ALL THE TIME.  Seriously, one of the deans tried to make this connection.  A worrisome leap in rational thought from someone who is, nominally at least, is an administrator and legal professional.  

Full Disclosure:  There's also the fact that I put an anti-theft alarm on the back of another poster (this one informing students of an excellent memorial that had been placed in the 4th floor men's room in honor of a disgraced alum) to draw attention to the removal of material that mocks the school.  Oops.  Admittedly, not a great idea.  Is it possible that this entire disciplinary fracas has something to do with the fact that the dean who took the sign down was scared by the alarm and publically embarrassed?  NO!  No, that's crazy.  University's don't employ such petty and vindictive thugs.  Who would possibly waste time, resources (like posting members of the Suffolk Police at all of my final exams in order to find me), and risk national ridicule for something so minor (albeit juvenile and tactless)???

So I'm awaiting the verdict of an inquisitor to see whether I will be subjected to the full power of the disciplinary machine.  Should I ask for justice?  Should I pound on a table (I hope there's a table) and demand transparency for all students??  How about a refund?  Because, you know, it would be kiiiind of a bummer to be 200k in debt without being able to get a job in the profession I took on that debt for.  Of course, in that sense, getting tossed out in the middle of the final semester of my  third year is more or less like graduating these days.  See you at the Foot Locker interview, comrades!

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